The idea of how long sex ought to last is more complicated than it sounds. Preferences differ greatly, and what feels satisfying for one person might feel rushed or drawn out for someone else. Still, surveys and research offer insight into what many women actually prefer — and the results don’t always match popular assumptions.
There’s no universal “correct” length
First, it’s worth noting that medicine doesn’t define an ideal duration for sex. Satisfaction depends on many variables, including emotional connection, level of arousal, energy, and individual expectations. While studies can provide averages, pleasure itself is highly personal.
Research that measures the time from penetration to ejaculation — often called intravaginal ejaculatory latency — typically places the average around five minutes.
Interestingly, many men believe their sexual encounters last longer, often estimating closer to nine minutes. Some studies suggest that people imagine an ideal experience lasting around 15–16 minutes, even though real-life encounters often fall well below that number.
What women tend to prefer
To better understand women’s perspectives, GQ writer Sophia Benoit spoke with women in informal interviews conducted in 2019, asking how long they wanted sex to last.
A clear pattern emerged: most women said their preference fell between five and ten minutes, particularly when foreplay happened beforehand. Benoit also pointed out that many studies focus only on penetration, overlooking the broader experience that contributes to satisfaction for many women.
“People frequently claim they want sex to last much longer than it does,” Benoit observed. “But many women actually preferred durations that were close to — or slightly longer than — the average of about 5.4 minutes.”
What experts say
Sexual health professionals generally agree that there’s no single ideal timeframe. In a discussion on Diary of a CEO, psychiatrist Dr. Alok Kanojia, sexual health expert Dr. Rena Malik, and filmmaker Erika Lust shared insights on the topic.
Dr. Kanojia noted that most sexual encounters last somewhere between three and seven minutes, adding that many women report losing interest if intercourse extends beyond 15 minutes.
Dr. Malik highlighted differences in how long it typically takes men and women to climax. Men often reach ejaculation within five to six minutes, while women may take closer to 10–14 minutes, depending on circumstances.
The takeaway
There’s no standard answer to how long sex should last. What matters far more than the clock is communication, mutual comfort, and shared enjoyment. For many people, foreplay, emotional closeness, and feeling understood play a bigger role than duration alone.
In the end, sexual satisfaction isn’t about hitting a specific number of minutes — it’s about how connected and fulfilled both partners feel during the experience.