The husband pointed at his wife and yelled,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThis is all your fault!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMy fault?\u201d she asked, completely shocked. \u201cWhat did I do?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIf it wasn\u2019t for your bran muffins, low-fat yogurt, and those awful kale smoothies,\u201d he grumbled, \u201cwe could have been here TEN YEARS AGO!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
St. Peter tried to keep a straight face but couldn\u2019t help chuckling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The wife crossed her arms. \u201cOh really? If it wasn\u2019t for me, you\u2019d have eaten bacon for breakfast, burgers for lunch, and ribs for dinner every day!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Continue reading on next page\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
The husband shrugged. \u201cExactly! And we\u2019d have arrived early to enjoy all this!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
St. Peter cleared his throat politely. \u201cWell\u2026 technically that\u2019s not exactly how it works.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But the husband had already wandered over to the enormous buffet table in the heavenly restaurant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLook at this!\u201d he said excitedly, piling his plate high with steak, lobster, and chocolate cake.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The wife looked horrified. \u201cYou\u2019re going to eat all of that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOf course,\u201d he said proudly. \u201cThe man just told us it\u2019s impossible to gain weight here.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He took a huge bite of steak and closed his eyes happily. \u201cBest meal I\u2019ve had in twenty years.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The wife slowly picked up a small salad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The husband stared at her. \u201cYou\u2019re STILL eating like that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell,\u201d she said cautiously, \u201cold habits are hard to break.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At that moment an angel walked by carrying a tray of warm chocolate chip cookies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The husband grabbed two handfuls.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou know,\u201d he said with a grin, \u201cmaybe Heaven isn\u2019t so bad after all.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Just then St. Peter returned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSo,\u201d he asked, \u201chow are you enjoying everything so far?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The husband wiped chocolate from his mouth and said, \u201cIt\u2019s amazing. But I do have one question.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
St. Peter sighed. \u201cWhat is it now?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The husband looked around at the mansion, the golf course, the endless buffet\u2026 then leaned closer and whispered:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cTell me the truth\u2026 is there a treadmill anywhere around here?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
St. Peter smiled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh yes,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The husband\u2019s face dropped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBut don\u2019t worry,\u201d St. Peter added. \u201cNobody has used it in centuries.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The husband grinned again, grabbed another cookie, and said:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPerfect. Now THAT really is Heaven.\u201d \ud83d\ude02<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The husband pointed at his wife and yelled, \u201cThis is all your fault!\u201d \u201cMy fault?\u201d she asked, completely shocked. \u201cWhat…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":13043,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13042","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tbdig.com\/sirbenet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13042","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tbdig.com\/sirbenet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tbdig.com\/sirbenet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tbdig.com\/sirbenet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tbdig.com\/sirbenet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13042"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tbdig.com\/sirbenet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13042\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13044,"href":"https:\/\/tbdig.com\/sirbenet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13042\/revisions\/13044"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tbdig.com\/sirbenet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13043"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tbdig.com\/sirbenet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13042"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tbdig.com\/sirbenet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13042"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tbdig.com\/sirbenet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13042"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}