At a Catholic school lunch, a nun posted a sign on the apple tray:
“Take only one. God is watching.”
At the cookie pile, one kid whispered to another:
“Take as many as you want. God is watching the apples.”
A little girl asked her teacher about whales.
Teacher: “A whale can’t swallow a human. Its throat is too small.”
Girl: “But Jonah was swallowed by a whale.”
Teacher: “Impossible.”
Girl: “Well, when I get to Heaven, I’ll ask Jonah.”
Teacher: “What if he went to hell?”
Girl: “Then you ask him!”
A 7-year-old sat on a park bench eating chocolate.
Man: “Too many chocolate bars are bad for you.”
Boy: “My great-grandfather lived to 105.”
Man: “He ate lots of chocolate?”
Boy: “No. He minded his own business.”
At a toy store, Peter picked a car and paid with Monopoly money.
Cashier: “Are you kidding? That’s not real money!”
Peter: “And the car isn’t real either!”
A boy came home crying.
Mother: “What happened?”
Boy: “I got punished for something I didn’t do!”
Mother: “Oh no! What didn’t you do?”
Boy: “My homework…”
Kids say the darndest things! Which one made you laugh the most today? Share your favorite in the comments and keep the smiles going—you never know who might need a little laughter today.