The Wife’s Reply
Dear Ex-Husband,
Receiving your letter made my day! It’s true we’ve been married for 7 years, though a “good man”? That’s stretching it.
I noticed your haircut—it reminded me of a girl. I didn’t comment because my mother taught me not to say anything if I can’t say something nice.
As for the meal, you clearly confused me with my sister—I haven’t eaten pork in 7 years. And those silk boxers? I turned away because the $49.99 price tag was still on them… the same $50 my sister borrowed that morning.
I still loved you and wanted to make it work. I hit the lottery for $10 million, quit my job, and even bought two tickets to Jamaica—but when I got home, you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason. My lawyer said your letter ensures you won’t get a dime from me. Enjoy your “fulfilling life.”
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich & Free!
P.S. My sister Carla was born Carl—hope that’s not a problem!
This husband tried to leave with the upper hand… but his wife turned the tables with humor, intelligence, and a little financial karma.
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